Attorney Helfand Finds That Most Parties Seeking a Divorce Are Just Looking for a Fair Settlement

Interviewer: What do people want when they meet with you? Are the potential clients usually out looking for revenge? Are many of them upset and just want the process to be over with? What’s usually on their mind?

Some Couples Have Different Opinions on the Definition of a Fair Settlement

Tanya: Most often, people come in and they say they want a fair settlement; however, fair is relative. What one person’s idea of fair and another person’s idea of fair are two different things. People want a fair settlement. People care about their children.

Parties That Have Unreasonable Expectations from Their Divorce Attorney Are Usually Not Satisfied with the Outcome

Once in a while I’ll have somebody come in and their expectations are unreasonable. If I have somebody come in that says, I want to take everything from him or I want to take or I’m not giving her anything and they come in with that attitude, I’m not going to take that person as a client.

Because that’s not fair, that’s not equitable, that’s not reasonable and I can’t satisfy that request either because that’s not what’s going to happen. I choose clients and clients choose me because we are on the same page.

It Is Natural to Feel Scared and Apprehensive When Initiating Divorce Proceedings

Interviewer: On an emotional level, what else do you sense is going on with people when they come to see you?

Parents Worry about the Impact of Divorce on the Lives of Their Children

Tanya: People are scared, of course, it’s very, very scary to get a divorce. It’s a giant change. People are afraid of the impact that it’s going to have on their children. For example, fathers are really worried that they’re not going to see their children and they’re going to be shut out of the lives of the children.

Both Parties in a Divorce Usually Are Concerned about Finances

The person who is the dependent spouse, in our society typically it’s the woman, she is afraid she won’t be able to pay the bills.

Divorce Means a Change in the Lives of the Spouses and Their Family

The men that get hit with support obligations, worry about how they going to be able to pay their bills. Divorce produces a huge change in your life and aspects of your life that seemed settled are suddenly very unsettled. So there’s a lot of fear and trepidation that people have when they come in to discuss a divorce.

It’s my job to make them feel okay and that things can be worked out and truthfully, they can.

New Jersey Family Lawyer Blog - Spousal support