Search Site
 Whippany, New Jersey | New York, New York
Free 30-Minute Consultation 973-428-0800
Domestic Violence and Custody

Domestic Violence and Custody

If you are charged with domestic violence your life can be seriously affected. You will have a record if someone does a background search. When the court finds that a person committed domestic violence, it made a finding that the person specifically engaged in a criminal activity of one or more of the following acts: homicide, assault, terroristic threats, kidnapping, criminal restraint, false imprisonment, sexual assault, criminal sexual contact, lewdness, criminal mischief, burglary, criminal trespass, harassment, and/or stalking. If a Final Restraining Order is entered against you, you may be disqualified for certain jobs because of your record. There is also a presumption in the domestic violence court that the Defendant should be given limited parenting time.

Many divorces become acrimonious and people will engage in acts of domestic violence, from threatening emails to harassment to actual physical violence. If a domestic violence Final Restraining Order is filed in a divorce case, it will often be an uphill battle if the defendant wants significant parenting rights. In order to change the parenting rights or schedule from what was set forth in the FRO, your lawyer will have to fight in divorce court for more parenting time. Mediation cannot occur between the parties because of the restraining order. Either negotiation between counsel or an evaluation may have to be ordered if the perpetrator of domestic violence wants more parenting time and the victim opposes.

Most divorces do not go to trial; it is extremely costly and burdensome. Judges in litigation and at trials have historically maintained a bias against the defendant in the FRO when it came to custody, although this is often not justified. The court, however, in the recent case R.K. v. F.K., 437 N.J. Super. 58 (App. Div. 2014) clarified that a decision in divorce court with regard to custody must follow the custody statute and analysis with regard to the following factors: 1) the parents’ willingness to agree, communicate and cooperate in matters relating to the child; 2) the parents’ willingness to accept custody and any history of unwillingness to allow parenting time not based on substantiated abuse; 3) the interaction and relationship of the child with its parents and siblings; 4) the history of domestic violence, if any; 5) the safety of child and the safety of either parent from physical abuse by the other parent; 6) the preference of the child when of sufficient age and capacity to reason so as to form an intelligent decision; 7) the needs of the child; 8) the stability of the home environment offered; 9) the quality and continuity of the child’s education; 10) the fitness of the parents; 11) the geographical proximity of the parents’ homes; 12) the extent and quality of the time spent with the child prior to or subsequent to the separation; 13) the parents’ employment responsibilities; 14) the age and number of the children.

As you can see, only one of the 14 factors (#4) that the court must consider in its analysis is the domestic violence factor. This in no way means that having a Final Restraining Order is a minor issue, particularly when addressing custody, but it clarifies that it is not “the whole story”. The truth is you should do everything you can to avoid a domestic violence situation. It is expensive, complicated, and has permanent ramifications. The court however has articulated in R.K. v. F.K. that custody is a complicated, layered issue which revolves around the best interest of the children. It is not a simple issue that can be decided just because of a Final Restraining Order. It is important that an individual receives proper representation for a restraining order and then again when it comes to the very important custody/parenting issues.

Tanya N. Helfand, Esq., a certified matrimonial attorney practicing for 23 years, handles Family Law in NY and NJ as well as Bankruptcy. The office also handles Municipal Court defense, Worker’s Compensation and Department of Child Protection and Permanency parental representation. We have a free ½ hr. consultation. The firm welcomes your questions and inquiries at [email protected] Everything is confidential. This article is not legal advice. Please consult an attorney.

Contact us

Please fill out the form below and one of our attorneys will contact you.

Quick Contact Form

Our Offices
  • Whippany Office
    575 Route 10 East
    Suite 1
    Whippany, New Jersey 07981
    Phone: 973-428-0800
    Fax: 973-428-0830
  • New York Office
    420 Lexington Ave.
    New York, New York 10170
    Phone: 646-213-9053
  • "Without Tanya and her time, the really unpleasant experience of getting divorced would have been even worse. They were able to settle the matter very quickly and helped me fit this into my tight schedule allowing me to leave to move abroad for my dissertation research on time without having to delay the trip because of the divorce. They also did all of it within my very tight budget. Thank you so much for your help and dedication to my legal matter!"  - AG

  • "Tanya and her Associates are outstanding! What I admire most about Tanya is her knowledge of the law with her keen negotiation skills to foster mediation. Her strategies efficiently resolve conflict leading to the resolution of cases. She and her team have an outstanding work ethic, know what data are needed, and get the job done. It is a pleasure to work with such wonderful professionals."  - Tara, Whippany

  • "I found Ms. Helfand's knowledge and tenacity most reassuring during the ordeal of my divorce. She was steadfast in her guidance and was very effective in her negotiations on my behalf. I would recommend her without a second thought. "  -Jonathan

  • "Ms. Helfand was very professional and helpful with our bankruptcy case. Her advice was very useful and helped us make the proper decisions for our situation. In addition, she was very supportive during a very difficult time for us. Finally, she set very specific fee expectations and there were no surprises when it was completed. I would use her services again and would recommend her, without question."

  • "She is Incredible, very quick responding to the other party. Very professional and courteous. I highly recommend her. She has a great passion and love for every single case."

  • "Tanya and her team were very professional handling my divorce proceedings. She was very proactive in making the other attorney finally get the process moving forward. I would recommend her to anyone looking for legal services. "  -Scott

  • "Ms. Helfand strategized & processed, both, my Divorce & Chapter 13 Bankruptcy. As both cases were emotionally and legally challenging, Ms. Helfand proved to be an empowering Mentor along the path to clarity for which I am truly grateful. I highly recommend her legal expertise to anyone who is seeking a confident, savvy & caring attorney to become at peace with self and any legal matters."  -Vas

Videos View All

view All

Press Releases