Interviewer: What are the reasons that people tell you that they’ve come to this decision?
Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Divorce in Our Country?
Tanya: It’s interesting because I am putting together a book myself and we have this saying that in this country there’s too much divorce. And I think that makes you think that people are very casual about their relationships.
People Rarely Divorce for Casual Reasons
That is not true from my perspective and that’s not why people get divorced. People get divorced for major reasons. And people really don’t want to get divorced because marriage is a good thing. A family is a good thing. Family values are good things.
Divorce Caused By Physical and Verbal Abuse toward a Spouse and Children
And to break up a marriage is a really scary event and you’re afraid to do it, but the reason why people get divorced can stem from abuse, whether it’s physical or verbal and you just have to get out of that situation because a) it’s not good for you and b) it’s not good for your children.
Divorce Caused By Alcohol and Drug Addiction
Alcohol and drug problems can produce a scenario where one spouse really suffers from terrible addiction problems and they are either dysfunctional or dangerous around children, is a major reason for divorce.
Divorce Caused By Infidelity
Some people have different tolerance levels about infidelity. Some people will tolerate an infidelity and the marriage will stay together. Others can’t tolerate any and sometimes there’s chronic infidelity in a marriage. You can’t really stay married if somebody’s having affairs all the time.
Divorce Caused By Financial Concerns
And I would say also financial issues are another major reason for divorce. It is not usually when somebody loses a job or somebody’s finances change; divorce can result from one party hiding money from the other person. Or there is a loss of employment, but then the person doesn’t take action to make sure that they’re trying to get a job again or the person becomes depressed and then they’re not helping the family. So I would say those are the most common groups of problems that I see people facing.
The Decision to Divorce Is Not Casually Arrived at
Interviewer: So it’s not just a casually arrived at decision, it’s a heavily, thought out, weighty decision.
Tanya: It’s very difficult for most people to get divorced. And it’s very sensitive issue, and the process can be very hurtful and very tumultuous and people really don’t take it lightly.